Firework

I've called this blog firework, because sometimes only a song can explain how you are feeling... For me Katy Perry's firework has always had a knack of being spot on with how I am feeling about things.

Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin, like a house of cards, one blow from caving in? Well this is pretty much how I feel at the moment, and I can't pinpoint why. I think partially its because I feel like I am being ignored by some of the people whose friendships I valued the most. I have text people about there invitations to the wedding and the shower, and have simply been ignored by them, and I just don't get it?

But then maybe I am being selfish to expect that people would have time for me. I'm really not sure. I guess its because I see my wedding day, as one of the biggest days of my life, and I thought my friends and family would be excited by it, and maybe they are? They are just too busy to put a bit of paper in the post, or send me a text message...

But I guess when the day comes around whether there is 30 people there or 90, they will be the people that i know to focus on from then on. I am going to make some changes too. Either by deleting my facebook page altogether, or starting again with only 50 friends on the page instead of 300 who probably couldnt care less "how I am feeling" or whatever the facebook status bar asks these days!

so anyways, its been good to get it off my chest, and hopefully I will start to feel brighter now thats its on paper. 

43 days to go

The count down is well and truly on now, let's see how many posts I can do between now and the big day. I will probably try and do a small one each day anyways...

So last night it was hair and make-up trials. Just me and one bridesmaid went, and it took about 2 hours which is a good amount of time I think, I was really happy with both the make-up and the hair, for both me and the bridesmaids and dont think I will make any changes for the day. I have booked in for a treatment and cut for next week so hopefully my hair will be fresh and happy for the wedding and feeling good to go. I have decided not to make any changes to my hair colour, because I dont wanna risk it haha!!

Today I have started to chase people for wedding and bridal shower RSVPs, so hopefully I will start to get some answers in the coming days...Still waiting on about 25 invitations to come back, equating to about 50 people for the wedding, and I think still waiting to hear from about 10 people for the shower. At risk of offending people, I actually dont know how its that hard to RSVP? I honestly just think its common courteousy, but maybe my values are different to others.

Anyways hopefully there will be some more people confirmed before I post next time :)

44 Days!!! Its next Month!!!

Wow, I really dont know where the time goes haha! Every day seems to just fly by with another 1000 things added to the list each time...well day haha!

The best thing at the moment is that because there are only 2 weeks left for people to get there RSVPs, I am getting like 2-3 every day! I love getting fun mail! So we invited 95 people total, so far we have 33 attending, 3 unable to attend, so not a bad ratio really. However still a lot more to come over the next couple of weeks! But the list is certainly looking better. I sent a few text messages off to people yesterday just reminding them to start thinking about sending them back, simply because I dont plan on giving them any more reminders...Im a bit ruthless when it comes to things like that.

So tonight is hair and make-up trials!!! I am crazy excited, I love having my hair and make-up done, even though its only a trial haha. I wish we could have organised a bit of a girls night for afterwards but Im way too short on cash at the moment :( At this stage, not even sure how I am going to pay for tea when I go out this weekend, let alone drinks :s

The girls have all tried on their bridesmaid dresses now with their shoes, two are all sweet, one we have to get altered so thats booked in and set for Monday, which is great, hopefully it will only need one alteration and be good to collect in a week or so, which will mean all is ready with the girls!

Yesterday I sent a couple of confirmation emails, waiting to hear back from the car people, the florist and the photographer but I am sure that will all come in the next few days!!!

Weddings are fun!!!

47 days to go!

Well things are full steam ahead on the wedding planning front. I actually cant believe how close it all is now!!! February is going to go unbelievably fast, with so much on, and I am already exhausted, well should I say still? I got to bed early last night, fell straight to sleep, didnt wake up once, but even so, still tired!!!!

Where are we up to? and where do things go from here? I am getting all of the little things out of the way this week that I have been meaning to do for like the last 6 months. A trip to the doctor, to get my six monthly skin check done, even though I was meant to go in like August! Whoopsies! I also have an optometrist appointment, finally time to get myself some prescription sunnies! Thursday its time for hair and make-up trials, which I am super excited about! Can't wait to see how it's going to look. Also have one of the bridesmaids trying on their dress this week, hopefully with the shoes, it won't need any altering! Then on the weekend, I am going out for tea with the girls for my birthday, and Sunday, fiance and I are gonna spend some tiem together... even though we live together, it feels like I have barely seen him because we have both been so tired and busy, or you know, stuck interstate because of a cyclone.

By then it'll be Monday again! Another busy week, got two mystery shops to do, trying to get a little extra money to catch up on what was spent in queensland that wasnt budgeted for. I need to contact the photographer to organise a catch-up with him and go through all the wedding day times and information. I also am meeting for the venue decorator to see what we ordered, hopefully confirm numbers... if people ever RSVP that is! Also to see what size i need to make the seating chart up to, and ask any last minute questions. That weekend we also have our first netball practice match, and the fiance has his first golf tournament of the season. We also need to organise our ceremony music and get it to our celebrant, as well as buy the refreshments for ater the ceremony.

Once again, another week will come around, and for this week I have planned, to contact our MC my big brother, and give him all the ceremony details, organise someone to take back any hires after the wedding day, and organise people to make any payments on the wedding day as well, then there is another practice match for netball, and a trip off to Bendigo for the weekend for a cousins engagement party. This is also the RSVP due date, so I will be making a few calls I assume to see if people are coming or not...seriously why can't people just reply?

Then it will be the last week of February, and less than a month to the wedding! It makes me get butterflies just saying that. But this week I will be confirming the DJ and the song list, inlcuding songs for the entrance, first dance, bouquet toss etc. This week will also bring our 9th anniversary, another netball practice match and my bridal shower! Cant Wait!

Saturday

Well its Saturday and I am trying to star a fresh this week, after the most horrible week its time to move on and forget about everything thats happened the last few weeks. I may be out of pocket, I may still be tired. But there is no point harping on things that can not be changed.

I slept in this morning and I think that has already helped. Then I had lunch with a friend, was very relaxing, and got to see her super amazing wedding photos which was great! After lunch I feel like I see things more clearly.

When I woke up this morn I was feeling down in the dumps, I felt like I needed to make a change, but I didnt know what that change was to be, I wondered if I needed to call my old friend and try and work things out, as we havent spoken in a year, I thought do I need to just stay at home and eat chocolate, i thought a lot of things....

But now I feel like I can breath again, and I dont even know what changed things. I decided I don't need to call my old friend, because she would have called be had she wanted to catch up or speak to me, and friendships do not define who I am. What defines who I am is my values and my actions. I will also do what I think is best for everyone, I will always think of how my actions may affect others and I will always be there for other when they need.

So in saying that, As of tomorrow, blood type diet u are back! running 3km u are back! wedding planning u are back! In other words Stacey is back!!! :)

Stripped

Ironic title for a blog I guess, but it pretty much sums up how I've felt since I've last posted.

Lets see, where does it start? Lets start with work. I really enjoy my job, but sometimes it gets a little overbearing. Since before christmas I had pretty much been doing 3 jobs as others were on holidays. Which means I have pretty much been exhausted from working 10-12 hour days. However the healthy diet was helping that, thats for sure.

Then there is the eBay problems. I sold a few things on eBay because I needed some money for my queensland holiday. But ofcourse, the item didnt arrive, the post cant do anything about it, so I am out of pocket the cost of the item, and the item, and then a day later, I got another message saying an item had been broken in the post. FRUSTRATING!!!.

Then comes along the holiday from hell! Well the first day was good haha! We headed off to Surfers Paradise for what we expected to be a warm beachy holiday, but that wasnt the case. Day one was a lot of fun with a visit to Q1 towers, a nice lunch on Cavill Ave, A look at the shopping strip, a trip around on a tour bus/boat, was a fun day!!! Day two, the rain and wind begun. Off we went to Dreamworld and White Water World Anyways, hardly any rides, cafes, attractions were open, we had to wear ponchos because it was freezing!!! Still managed to have some fun at the big brother house and watching the Tigers, they are the most amazing animals. Can do things that you could never imagine! We decided to head back after a couple hours because it was simply too cold, we went home, got changed and headed down the street to do our old time photos, and hard rock cafe for tea, my favourite place ever! I had the Aussie burger, seemed fitting since it was Australia Day! Then it was Day 3 and this is when shit got bad, we had already booked a night club tour for the night, but was unsure if it would go ahead. We decided to stay in for safety. We headed out to the clubs which was fun until we had to try and get home.

I have never been so scared, the wind, the rain was lashing, and I am simply not good with storms. I was happy to arrive back at the hotel and get ready for our early flight. But of course with my horrible luck, or ours, the airport was closed and the flight cancelled. With no real garuantee with being able to fly out for at least 3 days, we decided to hire a car and start the mammoth trek to Sydney. My friend had to drive the whole 12 hour trip as she was the one who had hired the car, it was so wet, windy and horrible, but she took the challenge. We ended up getting to Sydney airport at 10:15pm for our 10:10pm flight. Virgin were fantastic, because the flight had been delayed, they let us check in for our flight and told us to run to the boarding gate.

Yep you know it, we are sitting there waiting, the flight before us, also to Melbourne waiting too, when we get told their flight is going but ours cancelled because its passed there kurfew, this is something I dont particularly understand at an international airport? But I am guessing they reduce the number of flights over night? Im not sure... Virgin again were great, set us up with transfer to a lovely hotel, a 50$ voucher each for mini bar and room service, and a flight first thing in the morning. By the time the morning rolled around we were all so ready to be at home, We had to sit seperately but I dont think any of us cared, all we wanted was to get on that plane and have it take off, and thank god it did.

Anyways so we landed back in Melbourne, a day later than planned, collected our luggage and headed over to the bus shuttle for the car park. Yep you guessed it! More bad luck, I went to the pay station to pay, and the machine ate my ticket, a call to customer service meant I had to pay at the exit. frustrating!

So its fair to say it wasnt the best trip going around, thanks to some horrible weather and apparently poor timing, note to self, January isnt a good time to go to queensland!

The bucks night was also held over the weekend. I believe it was pretty successful, 7 holes of golf, a pub tour and back to the cricket rooms for whatever  boys do... however I found myself again extremely upset to find out the best man organised a stripper, he did this, even though my fiance asked him not too. What the best man wouldnt have known is how upset strippers make me, I try to be a confident person, and be happy with myself, but frankly I am never going to be the definition of sexy, or whatever. I dont have blonde hair, I dont have big boobs, I'm not toned all over, and im sure I am never going to be. So when you hear that your fiances best mate gets him a stripper, in my mind all I think is "well he obviosuly thinks im not good enough, and that my fiance needs something better than me" and you know what, maybe thats not the case, but it is how i feel. But I am starting to learn that in this world most people don't ever really care how you feel or how there actions can affect others.

So here I am, on my lunch break trying to get everything off my chest, in the hope that maybe I can get some sleep tonight. But I feel like I am at a cross roads in my life. This past week has been tough, its been a challenge, but I am still here on the other side. So its time to make some changes. I am just not sure what they are yet!

Anyways back to the wedding....We have about 25 of 90 RSVPs back now, we have met with the celebrant and organised the general flow of the ceremony, still gotta do flowers, music, cake, hair trials over the next couple of weeks. Also gotta organise for the dresses to be altered where needed.

so thats it, thats me, stripped.

Its coming quickly

So I know most of you have been reading my write about how long away the wedding is, and how long its taking to get here, now it feels like its full steam ahead! Every single day there is something I have to do, or consider for the wedding, its unreal! There is an email to read, a confirmation to be made, a question to be asked, a new thing that I havent remember to do it! I don't actually no how wedding planners aren't nervous wrecks, but I guess you would get pretty good at it with practice.

Anyways I haven't had the chance to check the letterbox for RSVPs today because my lunch time was filled with some family and friend stuff. Just been one of those days, but it is one of those days which makes me feel like I am a good person, because when people are in need they call on me to help them through, and thats something I have always valued in people, not just in myself. Although I am pretty excited to get home after work and check it out! I am hoping there might be 2 or 3 there again today!

Last night I spent organised the last harrah trip to queensland, working out who needs to pay what and all that, and because one of our freinds pulled out, we have ended up pretty badly out of pocket :( and now barely have any spending money for the trip...eek! Plan is to go shopping when we get there for some salads and essentials, but some alcohol and spend the time by the pool or on the beach, hopefully not spending to much money at all...its days like these where i start questioning if I should go back to the fish n chip shop just for a few more weeks?!?

As for wedding planning, I didnt do too much last night and today, I started looking into changing my name, so I thought I will start with a new email account, and nearly every version of my name was taken! Dam generic name, I have a quite unusual surname so I never had any problems when making email addresses before, so this was definitely new to me. I also started changing my name on a few insignificant things like Priceline Club Cards, and all those little places that don't really matter or need any proof!

Tonight I am going to list down all the questions I have for our suppliers, just to make sure I have covered everything before we have final meetings with them. Only 65 days! Cant believe it!!!